Things are gonna change around here!

David Hengen came over from the popsicle stand to add his two cents, refusing even to “pretend that i read part three,” and instead informing me that he “regularly check your blogs for more entries like the one about the comedy house, or the trip to the west edmonton mall theme park.” And who can blame him, really? It is entirely selfish to post windy, wordy stories with no immediate payoff, and it doesn’t fit well with the weblog medium, either. For some reason, it is really hard to read all the way through something long on a weblog, and I am always putting long things on, for my own entertainment. It’s an approach that will never make you popular with the weblog crowd. I’d been thinking for several weeks that I needed to make a change, a thought that was confirmed by David’s comment.

So let me spell it out for you. From now on, things are going to be different. For every long thing I post, I will also post a short thing. That means that when part four of the dead cat story comes out (and it is coming, I promise. I can’t stop, I really can’t) it will be accompanied by something short and funny.

But wait! There is more!

I am also going to add a “gambling stat tracker” to the website. I have been meaning to do this for some time now. In September, when I made my annual New Year’s resolutions, I began my attempt to turn five dollars into $200 using only canny gambling. Since then, there have been some successes. For instance, I won a dollar by knowing that green peppers, red peppers, yellow peppers, purple peppers and even the rarely seen brown pepper are all the same pepper! Yessir, the farmer (isn’t the idea of a farmer quaint?) just leaves the green pepper on the vine longer, and as the pepper matures it gets sweeter and changes colour! I won a dollar for that. I won a dollar and a big buck after speculating (correctly) that there is an escalator in Red Deer. On the other hand, I have lost several bets. The problem is that I have no idea how much I am up, or, more likely, down. Hence, the gambling stat tracker. Every time I make a wager, it will be listed on the website, and when it is resolved, the stat tracker will reflect a running total. That might be kind of fun.

But wait! There’s more!

To counter the ‘fun’ of the gambling stat tracker, and in deference to my Christian upbringing, I am going to add a weekly ‘devotional thot’. (A ‘thot’ is like a ‘thought’ only shorter and more inspirational; often grounded in suspect logic.) I have long believed that one of the great things about going to a Brethren church is that everyone is prepared to share at every meeting. In theory, everybody in a Brethren church could end up preaching, and so (once again in theory) everyone should be comfortable with their Bibles and what their Bibles say. In practice, the same eight guys get up every week, and I have never shared, ever, in the first service. There is no good reason for this. I ought to prepare something to say, even if I am not going to say it, and the Interweb is going to help keep me accountable to that end. You will see a ‘devotional thot’ posted prior to church every Saturn’sday.

But wait! There’s more!

I am also going to add a “quote of the week” section – quotes to inspire and lighten the load as you wend your way through your week.

But wait! There’s (a little bit) more! (How is it possible?)

Finally, the casuist will from now on supply a “question of the week” to be pondered, mulled and debated passionately. Check back often, as this feature is sure to generate plenty of discussion! The first question of the week and the first quote of the week are listed below.

Now, David, I feel I have made some concessions. It is up to you to now do your part. In exchange for all my wit and delightful repartee, I expect that you will read, or at least pretend to read, the windy, wordy stories I insist on foisting upon you. That is all for now.

Part four of the damn cat story will be available soon.